Remembering Aiden Bailey (Shane's Best Buddy)

A year ago today, Heaven received one of the most beautiful little boys. I was 8 months pregnant with Shane and completely devastated for our friends Angie and Kevin.

Angie and I were nearly 4 weeks apart in our due dates. We had gone through almost every aspect of our first pregnancies together. We shared so much, from stories of cravings, morning sickness, sober bachelorette party nights, and the excitement of having our little boys, Shane and Aiden grow up together. To this day I can still picture the image I had the day Aiden was born. We would have drove down to Orange County to visit the new Bailey family and I would get to hold that beautiful little baby boy who was the perfect mix of his amazing parents. I would sit there holding him, as he rested on my very pregnant belly telling him about all of the adventures he and Shane would soon have. Angie would be telling me stories of labor and we would laugh, as we so often did, about the awkwardness of childbirth.

Unfortunately, this day is just a day that will live in my imagination for the rest of my life. Losing Aiden and watching my friends grieve the worst pain, was tough enough, and then 3 weeks later, having to live the exact nightmare of losing my baby, was something that was NEVER a part of our plan. Shane and Aiden should be here together, not in Heaven, NOT away from their parents who love them more than anything in this entire world.

I woke up this morning and I called Angie. I know the pain of today, as I am anticipating that same pain on the 9th of September. I called to see how she was and to tell her how much I loved them. I just wanted to cry as we talked about Aiden because HE SHOULD BE HERE!

I know in my heart that Shane and Aiden are in a place where they will never have to suffer; where they will never have to feel the pain that we are dealing with here on earth, but that doesn't mean I don't wish for both of them to be here today. I wish that I was dressing Shane in his best Monster outfit, getting him ready for Aiden's first birthday party at the park. I wish I was putting batteries in my camera preparing to catch each moment of Aiden diving into his first taste of sugary cake. I wish that I wasn't writing in this blog about how I wish this day was different.

As Angie and I talked this morning we laughed about at the image that we shared about what our boys were doing. I told her, knowing my son, I bet he has prepared the best monster cake for Aiden to share with all of his special angel friends. I have this image of the 2 of them with their party hats on, smiling down on us, wanting their parents to celebrate this day, because today is a celebration of a life, of a very special little boy, one who was just too special for this world. I am thankful for Aiden and I know he and Shane are running the town in that special place called Heaven!

I know that a year ago today, the out pouring of support for the Bailey's was huge, and I ask every one of you who read this today, to take a moment to remember the life of their little boy Aiden, because Aiden's life, though short, was a life and a life that should live on in our hearts forever! Aiden Kenneth Bailey ♥ August 13, 2o1o.]

The REALITY of reality

Ever since the Real World New Orleans aired back when I was in high school, a secret ambition of mine was to be on a reality show. It's true. I love reality TV, The Bachelor/ette/pad, Dancing with the Stars, Giuliana & Bill, Hell's Kitchen, The Next Food Network Star, Keeping Up with the Kardashians...I guess you could say I am a reality junkie. Unfortunately for Mike, he hates reality TV and can't stand that I watch my DVR'd shows every night, when he would rather be watching syndicated episodes of Friends. I know people laugh at me for my love for Reality TV and of course I get sucked into the drama of everything. Mike can't believe that I hold onto the hope that 1 guy will find love after he dates 25 women, eliminating them week after week (for 6 weeks) and on the final day, gets down on a knee when he finds the love of his life. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think anything is possible and for the record, there have been couples that HAVE made it. But this is all besides the point. I know that reality TV is not "REALITY". Of course production has the ability to cut and paste audio to make a positive statement come out negative. As an English teacher, I have to teach my students about quoting because removing on word from a particular statement can alter the intention behind it.

What's funny is I got a stint in a reality show last summer. It was a wedding day makeover show that aired on TLC and my friend Jessica was selected to showcase her wedding on the show. Not to ramble on about my reality stardom, but we taped over 10 hrs of footage for a 15 minute segment, and reshot interviews repeatedly, so needless to say, the editors had lots of content to pick and chose from.

To this day I refuse allow myself to believe that Reality TV is 100% fake. Perhaps this is because I really want to believe that people are capable of finding love, or I am entertained by the way these people really live, I don't know. Of course I know that production has the ability to alter scenarios, of course people are going to fall in love when they are in the beautiful country of Fiji not to mention when there is a competition to win a prize, the natural instinct to compete will take over. If a show strictly aired a person's entire day, of course, NO ONE would watch it. Even if you followed the Karashians for an entire day, I'm sure you'd be checking your watch for time. Let's face it, in everyday life, a happy cheerful song doesn't magically start playing when you walk down the street and suspenseful music doesn't play when you get a dramatic phone call from a friend. I know these are all ploys in what makes Reality TV so AMAZING!

I've now just rambled about my love for reality TV when my intensions of creating this particular post was to share the new blog design created by my creative designer, Franchesca Cox. But as I started typing, my mind wondered off and I wanted to share the meaning behind my blog's title, Reality Unedited. The story behind this title, is because I've always thought my life would be kind of entertaining to watch in a TV show. I have some amazingly awesome and unique (in such special ways ;) )friends who would make extraordinary reality TV stars and I'm positive with the proper editing, we would be just as exciting to watch as the rich celebs out there :). But in all honestly, I know that Reality shows are "altered" for viewing purpose and yes they are not 100% accurate, I get it!

To be honest, I could not imagine having to have this last year of my life documented over a reality show. Who knows what kind of editing would have come out from it, nor would I have wanted such a personal life event showcased over TV. I don't even know if a reality show could capture the emotions of the journey we've fought through over this past year. As much as I want to wake up everyday to a healthy (almost 1 year-old) Shane, I know this is my reality, and I know how real it is. Reality Unedited is my way of sharing my real life with people who want to follow it. It doesn't air every Monday at 8 and it is not edited for content, this is the true story of my life.

With that said, I am so excited to share with you all the new design of my blog. Thanks to my wonderful friend Angie, for gifting me a "bloggy makeover" and putting me in contact with her creative blog designer Fran. Fran did an amazing job of designing my blog to truly capture who I really am. Thank you for capturing so much in this new blog design. When I look at it I truly see the unedited reality of my life.

If you would like to learn more about Franchesca's blog designs please visit her website. I hope you all enjoy this new design as much as I do. Thank you again Angie and Fran! xoxo